is to accept life is going on, even if your world comes crashing down. Time isn’t going to slow down for you to gather your thoughts. It’s a funny thing how over whelmed I am, yet I can’t put it to words to tell someone about my darkest thoughts and how lonely it is to not be able to do that. 

There’s a part of me who wants to scream, stomp, cry about how life hasn’t been exactly fair the past 8 years, how it’s been a living hell but there’s another part telling me to be grateful, that I’m better off than a lot of people. 

I’m finally hitting a mile stone and I thought I would be so much more happy being done with High School but reality hit me that I’m turning 19 before everyone else (with the exception of two people.) 

That I’m starting college a lot earlier than most of my classmates, in hopes to cover up my past, in hopes to break the chains that has been bringing me down. 

That I have to look for a job in fall so I can support myself through college and I have to suck it up and deal with driving. 

I don’t know what to do anymore. Overwhelmed.